Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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