would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
