When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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