You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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