I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
