I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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