the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
