I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
