: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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