But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
