Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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