we're blogging at a bar
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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