No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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