i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Too much gin, very little bucket
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
