Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
