Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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