So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
