Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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