Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my being single is dangerous.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
