Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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