What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
