Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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