If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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