I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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