I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
COCAINE IS GR8
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
