I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
