Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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