Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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