I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize