Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
