the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
