Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
