I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
