Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
