I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize