don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
