What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
