We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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