Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
