38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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