we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
