before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
