ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
