The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
