Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize