Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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