i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
