I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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