Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
