i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
pray to the hookup gods
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
