Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize