Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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