I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
