I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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