in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
