i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
