sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
