He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
