ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
