I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
