Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
