At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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