i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
