after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
