just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
