did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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