i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
