I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
