i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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