Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
