It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
